AlbuquerCrack Up

Hugs VS Drugs, Power Rangers VS TMNT, & Bros VS Hos

The Box Performance Space every Saturday @10PM is transformed by Broad Humor into a comedy club, this week however a debate hall sprung up in its place. 

Hugs VS Drugs, aka Platonics VS Narcotics

The first contest pitted The Show’s Alex Knight representing Hugs against Mike Long representing drugs.  Mike was looking good in his Hunter S. Thompson shirt and most of the hash scraped out of his beard; it was fair to say he was ‘in character’.  Mr. Knight came out swinging with great points about the renewable source of Hugs and that they didn’t require meeting up with sketchy figures like “Rico” or worse yet “having to go to the Westside!”  Mr. Long argued for the economy and the valid point that you “can’t traffic hugs as a job.”  Which Alex quickly countered by imploring, “jobs is EXACTLY what you will be giving when you’re hooked on drugs” (I believe the exact phrase was “unable to forget the taste of cum after a decade long addiction to meth.”)  You could tell this was an evenly matched bout. 

Best Point by Alex:  He reminded us of the duality of hugs and boobs.

Best Point by Mikey:  He invited the crowd to chose the better option of going to the back to either ‘feel loved’ or ‘feel high’.

Alex tried his best, but it wasn’t going to fly with this crowd.  While the crowd would’ve backed ‘hugs on drugs’, there can only be one winner… and it was Mike Long!  He celebrated his victory by putting some sort of glass paraphernalia in his mouth.  It was a dynamite way to start the night.

Side Note:  Broad Humor had set balloons above the chairs that the combatants were sitting in (that sentence has foreshadowing in it).  One of the balloons attached to Mike Long’s chair drifted into the rafters prompting an audience member to shout “I guess that one got too high”.  It was a fun bunch.

Power Rangers VS Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

The second spirited contest saw stand-up James Morrow in the corner of Power Rangers against improviser Will Bolt backing the mutated reptiles.  James had a Red Ranger Helmet on and looked like he had been on the ‘juice’ or at least strapping juice boxes to his Bis and Tris.  While Will, looking like Luke Wilson from ‘The Royal Tenenbaums, tied a Raphael face mask around his noggin.  Mr. Morrow started things off by reminding us that all of our first boners came from the pink ranger, which I believe is called an ‘Amy Jo Johnson’.  Mr. Bolt countered that saying “while the rangers practiced karate… at the YMCA, the turtles practiced Ninjitsu, aka “the art of not fighting with mythical robots.”  Slam!  Important to note that while Will was debating, James was stripping down into a full-blown ranger get-up (which would’ve been considered rude if James had any chance of winning the debate.  James Carville couldn’t have made the Rangers more enticing than turtles, let alone the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles).  

Best Point for PR:  Rangers were good kids that went to school and juice bars, while turtles hung out in sewers, skated and ate Pizza… terrible lessons to teach kids. (I think Michelle Obama would approve)

Best Point for TMNT:  The Turtles are just cool; in fact they’re so cool they’re cold-blooded.  (I think Rick James would approve)

This was a nail-biter but the VR Troopers never stood a chance…Winner Will Bolt.

My2Cents:  Disappointed James never brought up BeBop and Rocksteady, and the turtles apparent hatred of Jamaican culture.

Intermission Debate

The superb hosts of the show, Sarah Mowrey and Sarah Kennedy, had an intermission debate:  Kanye West’s endorsement of North Korea.  Twist!  They debated while sucking helium out of those previously mentioned balloons.  It was fun, it was silly, and it was outlandish!  Plus we learned some fun facts, like that it was SK’s birthday and SM either doesn’t understand how balloons work or her regular voice is eerily similar to her helium voice. 

Bros VS Hos

Jason Green was in favor of the Hos.  Genevieve De Mueller was all Bro.  Jason started the debate dressed as a brother of the cloth and was, to me, very confusing.  I remember laughing, I remember agreeing, but I mostly remember the smallest word he used being ‘gymnasium’.  At this point it’s important to mention that Gen would easily have won every round by this simple rebuttal: “Uh, What?!?!”  But she didn’t, she chose instead to ‘kill it’.  Ms. De Mueller rattled off point after point of the positives of being a bro, and anyone that can remind me of Neil Patrick Harris is a winner in my book.  Genevieve you earned your testicles tonight! 

Best Point by Jason:  “As a comedian, I’m a ho, and a vote for me is a vote for women, which is a vote for irony!”

Best Point by Gen:  Martha Stewart is a ho, George Bush is a ho, Rush Limbaugh’s tasty little wife is a ho… Plus, while bros get a bad rap for their ‘roofie’ tendencies, no one this night looks more ‘rapey’ than Mr. Green. 

Winner: the bros… and in a way the hos, I guess we were all winners tonight.

Broad Humor’s Saturday night comedy is the most original fun you can spend 6-bucks on, and that’s no joke (Yuck, yuck). 

~Anonymous, but feel free to check out my website

 manofcomedy.tumblr.com 

Come on out and make some “Bad Decisions” with Diaz Mackie as he shares his comedic exploits in this uncensored stand up tour featuring Tony Valle with Bob Keen, and hometown heroes Rusty Rutherford and Mike Long. 

Originally from Michigan, Diaz Mackie began his comedy career in Las Vegas in 2006 and currently resides in Los Angeles. In his short career, Diaz Mackie has traveled across the country headlining & featuring in clubs and colleges with his refreshing, upbeat & observational humor.

Diaz Mackie has multiple network television appearances including new hit shows “Go On” with Matthew Perry and Anthony Anderson’s “Guy’s With Kids,” both on NBC. Change the channel to CBS and you might find him on “Criminal Minds.” You can switch to cable, but there’s no escaping Diaz Mackie as he’s also been on Showtime’s “Shameless,” starring William H. Macy and “House of Lies” starring Don Cheadle . Not to mention he also served as a guest judge on Bill Bellamy’s “Who’s Got Jokes” which aired on TVOne. Diaz Mackie is a fresh face in the comedy scene & someone to keep an eye on.

No stranger to a few “Bad Decisions” himself, Chicago comic Tony Valle joins the tour with confidence this isn’t one of them! Influenced by comedic greats such as Carlin and the Stooges, Valle takes you on an intimate tour of his vulnerabilities exposing his innermost fears and insecurities. Always providing a light at the end of the tunnel, the comedic road he paves to get you there is twisted and perverse.

Fellow Chicago comic Bob Keen will be warming up the audience for Mackie and Valle. Keen can be seen traveling all over America with his unique brand of high-energy theatrics and wry witticisms. Stalking the stage with confidence and ease, he finds humor and connection with his audiences in areas most have trouble; be it religion and politics or observations on relationships and drinking. Keen has drawn comparisons to Bill Hicks and Doug Stanhope. A unique voice and style for a unique time, he insists, “We’re all going to die someday. Let’s dance!” 

Some of the comedians Diaz Mackie has performed with include: Felipe Esparza, Tom Rhodes, Bret Ernst, Lisa Landry, Shang, Greg Wilson, Thai Rivera, Butch Bradley, Jimmy Shubert, Daryl Wright, Bill Bellamy, Chris Tucker, Mike Epps & more.

Rusty Rutherford’s twisted comedy has “More Energy Than A High School Cheer Squad” (Montreal Fringe Festival). You’ll question if Rusty is sane one minute with his dark, offbeat humor, then question if he’s a “Comedic Genius” (Rusty’s mom) the next when he seems to incorporate every member of the audience into an on-the-spot freestyle rap. 

Mike Long will be opening for Doug Stanhope next month, so now’s your chance to see him before he blows up! Long balances an intense need for approval with an overwhelming desire to offend. Expect the unexpected, and expect to laugh your ass off.

The show is 18+ and tickets are just $10 and WE’LL THROW IN YOUR HOOKAH FOR FREE! Doors open at 7:00, show starts at 7:30.

Terrene Hookah Lounge is located at 106 Vassar Dr SE, just south of Central Ave.